The Strength to Not Take Sides

Sometimes, Sticking to What’s Right Means Not Taking Sides

Living in Addis, you know how tough dealing with landlords can be. It often feels unfair, and arguments happen. Today, I saw one get pretty heated in my neighborhood.

A landlord was fighting with his tenant over a small thing – a broken socket worth maybe 200 birr. But it was clear the anger was about more than that. They both started shouting insults. It was ugly, but the kind of thing you unfortunately see sometimes.

Here’s what got me thinking: The tenant’s wife was there. She’d been quiet while the landlord insulted them. But when her own husband started firing back with nasty insults, she told him repeatedly, “Stop. Stop insulting him.” He was too angry to listen.

So, she picked up a stick and actually hit her husband – hard, broke the stick, enough to get his attention and make him stop the insults.

Honestly, I was surprised. My first thought was, “Shouldn’t she be on his side?” Usually, you back up your family, right? Especially when they’re fighting someone else.

But she didn’t. It wasn’t that she agreed with the landlord. It seemed like she just believed that insulting people was wrong, period. Even if her husband was doing it. Even if he was angry for a good reason. She wanted them to leave with respect, not by sinking to the same level of insults.

I understood why the husband was mad. He felt disrespected just for being a tenant. His anger made sense.

But his wife showed a different kind of strength. It wasn’t about fighting back louder. It was about sticking to her own rule: We don’t act ugly, even when we’re treated badly. That takes real discipline, especially when it means going against your own loved one in the heat of the moment.

What I Took Away:

It made me think. Maybe being strong isn’t always about blindly supporting “your side.” Sometimes, real strength is sticking to what you believe is right, even if it’s uncomfortable or means telling your own people they’re wrong. It’s easy to just jump in and fight with your group. It’s much harder to hold onto your own principles.

Seeing that wife choose her principle (no insults) over just backing up her husband really stuck with me. It showed a quiet, powerful kind of strength. It’s definitely something worth thinking about.